I should have posted this on Father's Day...

Our food pantries help all kinds of families, including single parents raising children. Most of those single parents are women, but a small percentage are men. This summer we've helped two of these men, and both families were abandoned by the mothers.

The first was a father of four, with children ranging in age from eight to twelve. They were living in their car, and the father did odd jobs to earn money for gas and food. At the time they walked into our facility, the Dad had found a permanent job, and a church was providing six months of housing so he could save his money. We helped with food, clothing, and personal hygiene items. This father has a college degree, but his wife walking out was the tipping point in the family's overall well-being.

The other father was also deserted by his wife, leaving him as the sole provider and nurturer of six children. His wife had stayed home to care for the children, which meant when she left, his modest income had to be stretched to provide for child care expenses. This father also came for food and clothes, and we enrolled the children in our Back To School program.

The women and men who are single parents have it tough enough just parenting alone. Tossing in financial insecurity and spousal abandonment (as well as helping your children cope with the abandonment), seems like a heavy burden to bear.

I did not meet these men, so their stories were shared with me. When I take in all the volunteers told me, I imagine both men as quietly sad but resolute in doing right by their children. I imagine their children as adults, reflecting back, and seeing their fathers as men of steel: men who could keep the family marching forward until the road of life softened a bit. I'm glad CCSC was there for them.

This is a long one, and it ends with a Baptist and a Catholic

I was speaking to a group earlier this year, and a woman came over, introduced herself, and let me know that she regularly reads my blog and wondered why I haven’t addressed “the judgmental tendencies some Christians have with the poor”. Ouch. “Probably because I don’t want to touch that,” I thought.

But her question has stayed with me, and I understand what she’s saying. There is a view out there that says the poor have done something wrong and kind of deserve the situation they’re in.  

I’m not a researcher so I have no intention of writing a blog noting the latest research and statistics on the poor. Instead, I’d like to share what I’ve seen firsthand in 20+ years of running this ministry as well as what the Christian faith says to us about the poor.

I believe the poor are like any other group of people in that some are Type A while others are laid back; some are optimistic while others are pessimistic; some have an exceptional work ethic, often holding two or more jobs, while others will do the bare minimum to get by. Get any group of people together and there will be different traits, behaviors, and outlooks; we are all unique. So I don’t believe the poor are any more likely to take advantage of others or any less likely to work hard.

In sitting across from hundreds of clients over the years, I’ve seen everything one can imagine. I’ve seen clients cry at their life circumstances while others had a more stoic view. I’ve seen people accepting of their situation because they’re working to make things better for their children, and I’ve seen people who can’t think beyond tomorrow because the crises they’ve endured have shut down their long-term planning abilities. I’ve seen great faith in God’s love and care as well as anger at God. I’ve seen hunger, despair, gratitude and hope.

Over time, I’ve learned to resist the natural human instinct to judge, even those who are unpleasant, because I don’t know how I would react to the situations others experience. None of us know exactly what it’s like to live another person’s experience, whether that experience is positive or negative.

But more than that, I try really hard to apply the lessons of the gospel: forgiving others, giving generously without expectation of reciprocity, and not judging others, even people who are unfair to me. Let me be clear: these teachings of Jesus are difficult, and I fail much more often than I succeed, but it’s a rudder for who to be and how to be in this world. So the Gospel holds me accountable for my own behavior.

Regarding the Christian scriptures, I’m not a biblical scholar, so I reached out to some local clergy to hear their perspectives on the poor.

Reverend Clint Reiff, Senior Pastor of Rice Temple Baptist Church, says to ignore or deal unjustly with the poor is a sin. Reverend Reiff states, “It is not an option or an addition to our faith, but a command from God: it is part of His nature to love and defend the poor. When Jesus fed the five thousand, he did not question them to see if they would be his disciples, donate to the cause, or even ask the cause for their hunger. He simple extended grace in the form of food. I don’t think we should search for a reason not to help the poor, but should simply err on the side of grace.”

Reverend Reiff refers us to the following verses of scripture:

“There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.” – Deuteronomy 15:11

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? "- 1 John 3:17

"The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.” - Proverbs 29:7

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” - Proverbs 31:8-9  

Catholic social teaching is clear that followers of Jesus are to care for the needy and those forgotten by the world. Father Phil Lloyd from St. Theresa Catholic Church also reminds us of how important it is to care for the poor. He lifted up this verse of scripture for reflection:”Your abundance at the present time should supply their needs. So that their abundance may also supply your needs, that there may be equality.”  2 Corinthians 8:14.

Are you rich in what matters?

If he were alive, today would be my father's 76th birthday. I miss him a lot, and as the years have passed, my gratitude for having him in my life has grown. He not only took care of my basic needs (food, clothing, shelter), but also encouraged me, modeled an authentic life of faith, and taught me many lessons including how to budget and save money, how to persevere when life is hard, and why good friends - and being a good friend - matter.  

I share this because most poverty experts know that escaping poverty is not solely about financial resources. It's also about having emotional and spiritual resources as well as people in your life who model good behavior, teach you life lessons, and support you unconditionally.

Conversely, there are people with lots of money, who may be poor in spirit or in friendship. Money can make life run smoothly, but it doesn't absolve you of loneliness, give you internal fortitude when times are tough, or enrich your life with faith, joy or love.

A client we helped several times over a period of years lived with fragile financial resources, but had a happy spirit and the tenacity to keep going and push her children to achieve academically. She also had a firm faith in God's daily presence in her life. She was poor in one thing - money - but wealthy in so many other ways.

Sometimes I think it's healthy to pause and account for all the non-monetary blessings in our lives and to set goals for accumulating more of these riches: patience, compassion, joy, friendship and love.

We've received some interesting donations...

Because we operate a couple of food pantries, a resale shop, and a clothing distribution area, we ask for (and gratefully receive) food, clothing and household items daily.

For fun, I'd like to share some of the more creative donations sent to us over the years:

• the skull of an unidentified mammal
• a can of "Kick-A** Chili"
• a box of old, rusty batteries
• a yellowed casting of someone's teeth
• x-rated literature
• a can of turtle soup (with a real turtle in it!) that was 20 years old

Occasionally at staff meeting, we'll have a "show and tell" when these items come through, and this provides much levity. But of course these donations aren't exactly what CCSC needs, so below is a list of what we do need: 

• non-perishable food, especially high-protein items
• fresh produce
• shampoo, soap, toothpaste & toothbrush, deodorant, etc...
• gently used clothing (note that we're always low on children's and men's clothing)
• feminine hygiene items

And our resale shop takes furniture, household items, and clothing. The shop will sell almost anything, but we couldn't give away rusty batteries or a casting of someone else's teeth, much less sell them. However, unusual but useful items, like the frog pitcher below, are desired.

Thank you from a mother

Recently we received a thank you note from a mother:

I'm writing this letter to tell you how thankful I am for all the help you have given me and my family. There was a time when my husband was not working, and I was pregnant. Whenever I had a craving, we would gather all the nickels and dimes to buy whatever it was I craved.

After my daughter was born, I found your center, and you helped me so much with clothes, diapers, and sometimes even formula. Words cannot begin to describe how blessed I have been with your help...May God multiply your blessings, each and every one of you at CCSC.

I didn't include the full letter, but she came to us more than once and recounts how she cried during one visit because of the kindness of the volunteers. Kindness made her cry.

What makes CCSC's ministry unique is not what our programs and services offer. Rather, it is our organizational culture: a culture that says everyone is worthy of being treated with dignity and respect because as a Christ-based organization, we are called to see the face of Christ in everyone we encounter. Some days that's easy, and some days it's not, but it is a value we strive to live.

Summer is here, and we need more volunteers. So if you're looking to be part of an excellent organization, please contact our Volunteer Coordinator, Kate Gallup, at kgallup@ccschouston.org.

Love, abide, joy, friends

This morning, CCSC hosted a breakfast for its clergy, and each table discussed the verse of scripture below. Initially, each person shared the word that stood out to him/her in the reading of the passage; then we discussed the passage more in-depth.

It was a rich discussion, so I'm sharing some of the words my table highlighted along with some questions I took away in hopes it will cause you to also look deeply within.

• Love
• Abide
• Joy
• Friends

What does it mean to lay down your life for your friends, especially since most of us won't be called to sacrifice our lives for our friends?

How is joy different from happiness?

How do people who suffer find joy?

Does your life bear fruit?

How do we show love to the people in are lives who are difficult to love?

John 15:9-17

⁹As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. ¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. ¹¹I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. ¹²“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command you. ¹⁵I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. ¹⁶You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. ¹⁷I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.

Why I Attend Church

A friend read one of my prior blogs and suggested I write on why I go to church. She stated that since church attendance is declining in the United States, my family and I are “counter-cultural”, and I should write about that.

Hmm…I’ve never considered myself or my family counter-cultural.

For me, attending church is a way of life: I don’t wake up on Sunday mornings wondering if I should go to church just as I don’t wake up during the week questioning if I should go to work. Five days a week I go to work, one day a week is somewhat open, and one day a week I go to church. Those decisions are already made.

The main reason I attend church is because I want to strengthen my spiritual life, and church is my foundation for that pursuit. One day a week, I pray, sing, and listen to a sermon that will challenge me to model my life more closely with the life of Jesus. It’s a weekly spiritual tune-up that sets the tone for the rest of the week and keeps me committed to daily spiritual disciplines.

Another friend of mine is a committed Christ-follower, but not a church goer. If she were proofing this blog, she would note that one doesn’t have to attend church to follow Jesus. And I believe she is correct.

But it’s a lot harder to do something alone than with others. If I had to rely on myself to apply the Gospel of Christ to my life, I’d probably get distracted and disoriented.  My scheduled tune-up provides guidance, support, and friends to share it with.   

Lots of people I love are not in the church world, so I’ve heard most of the criticism that’s out there:

·         Throughout history, the church has done awful things in the name of God. True. No one can erase this history, but a balanced view shows the church has also been extravagant in meeting the needs of people who suffer. I feel I can best influence the church for good by being part of it.

·         The church isn’t relevant to my life. Some churches may not be relevant or mission-focused, but it’s unfair to lump all of them into that one category.

·         I know some pious people who attend church but are still generally unkind people. Me too. I avoid letting them influence me. I also know people who are not religious but are caring, ethical, kind people.

For every church that’s not following its mission, there are many more comprised of good, solid people trying to understand God’s presence in their life.  I choose to journey through life with them, and it’s been the right decision for me and my family. And I have the privilege of working for an institution that is a coalition of 41 churches (Christian Community Service Center) who set aside theological differences to help the poor in our community. I see firsthand how churches enhance their communities.